How to be an Interesting Person
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Salma Hossein
- . October 27, 2022
- . Update: November 11, 2022 1:21 am
Consider the most uninteresting person you’ve ever met. What about them made them so uninteresting? Were they trivial or unimportant? Did they dominate the conversation and just discuss themselves?
When a truly fascinating someone is present, they rarely do all the talking. Actually, to make a strong impression, you need to say very little.
If you wish to be truly captivating, you must create moments for others.
1. To be interesting, be interested
To be the most intriguing person in the room, it is essential to be interested in those around you.
The author of How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie, once remarked, “You can make more friends in two months by getting interested in other people than you can in two years by attempting to get them interested in you.”
Because humans are generally self-centered, we must first perceive that you care about us before we can care about you. It makes no difference how great your stories are or how phenomenally successful you are. It is not about establishing your own interest; it is about making others feel intriguing.
Learn from one of the most powerful leaders in American politics, Bill Clinton. When Bill walks into a room, it is his. Why? Because he is engaged and curious. He is anything but aimless, as he focuses his full attention on the people he is interacting with. When you are completely focused on others, you become an energy current that draws everyone in the room to you.
This does not imply that you can never share your story or your hobbies (this will be significant later). It simply implies that if you demonstrate a real interest in others first, they are far more inclined to take an interest in you.
2. Stop talking and listen
How can one become the most engaging person in the room?
Harvard neuroscientists have discovered that talking about ourselves is equally pleasurable to the brain as food and money. Nearly half of our regular speech is devoted to sharing our thoughts and emotions with others, and we enjoy doing so because it is so satisfying.
Researchers discovered that individuals were even willing to forego monetary compensation for discussing others in order to discuss themselves.
If you want to make someone feel good and be remembered, encourage them to discuss everyone’s favorite subject (themselves).
When you let someone speak at length about their new job, latest accomplishment, or forthcoming vacation, you will be the most intriguing person in the room without saying a word.
Why? Given that you listened.
The key, however, is to actively listen. You can allow someone to speak about themselves, but it is pointless if you are not attentively listening.
People can tell when you’re distracted, and if you’re checking your phone or glancing around the room, you’re swiftly squandering any opportunity of generating a great impression.
Focus on the individual. Maintain eye contact and put your phone away. Ask open-ended inquiries and pay close attention to the response. Provide a thoughtful response to demonstrate comprehension. Ask a follow-up question or, better yet, inquire how you can assist.
Try not to rehearse a response while the other person is speaking, and silence that inner voice that makes assumptions about the other person. Never interrupt their speech, and resist the temptation to complete their statements.
Active listening is a potent ability that few individuals possess. By actively listening to a person, they will want to spend time with and learn more about you. This energy is so magnetic that, before you know it, you will become the most fascinating individual in the room.
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3. Ask good questions
If you wish to be engaging, ask engaging questions.
The goal is to ask genuine questions that demonstrate genuine curiosity. The greater your interest in the response, the more actively you will listen, and the more the other person will view you to be attentive and concerned.
If you continue to ask questions, the other person will continue to talk about themselves (something almost everyone enjoys doing).
By asking sincere questions and attentively listening to the responses, you will provide the other person with an extraordinarily meaningful and delightful experience. Even if all you did was ask questions, they are more likely to recall you as an intriguing individual.
Consider the talks that made you feel the best about yourself. Probably because the other person asked you numerous questions about yourself and took a deep interest in your responses.
What, therefore, makes a question intriguing?
Choose open-ended inquiries and avoid those that they’ve probably heard a thousand times.
Rather than asking “What do you do?” Try asking “Why did you select your career?” or “What are you most enthusiastic about at the moment?”
You’ll likely hear about their impending vacation, a new relationship or business venture, a hobby or skill they’re learning, or a personal goal they’re pursuing, rather than the same old answer about their job that they’ve probably given to everyone else in the room.
Isn’t that significantly more intriguing? By doing something unexpected, you have just become the most captivating person in the room (I will elaborate on this later).
Attempt to discover common ground. They are more likely to be interested if you have something in common, such as a shared favorite television show or a mutual buddy.
4. Be inclusive
Have you ever been left out? Everyone dreads attending an event alone and having no one to converse with. If you notice someone loitering about or trying to blend into the background, approach them and strike up a conversation.
Engage them in discussion or invite them to join your group. A fantastic technique to introduce them to your group is to reiterate something that was just discussed. They will simply fit into the conversation and demonstrate that you were attentive.
They’ll appreciate that you took the effort to involve them, and you’ll become instantly more appealing to everyone in your group. The most fascinating individual in the room is the one who is inclusive and supportive of others.
5. Do the unexpected
Nobody remembers generic chats that never go deeper than the surface level. Try doing something unexpected if you wish to leave a lasting impression.
Be your true self without fear, and commit to being honestly vulnerable. Defend others when no one else will.
Discuss your interests or reveal something humiliating. Everyone has shortcomings, and it might be nice to hear someone be candid about theirs.
Even if your opinion differs, you should express it. People need not agree with you in order to find you intriguing. It is acceptable to be opposed, but avoid being aggressive or combative, and ensure that your viewpoints are well-informed.
Seek out these in-depth discussions and be somewhat unpredictable. People will swarm around you.
